A Little Help From My Friends

I am slowly learning a very hard lesson: I cannot help anyone who cannot help themselves.

It is either my greatest strength or my greatest weakness to want to help those who need it.

I do not always believe I am right. I do not always (or nearly ever) expect my advice to be taken. I certainly know that as adults, and humans, we come to each other for an ear and a shoulder, but will ultimately make our own decisions based on our own feelings, not what our friends and confidants offer us.

But what I am not understanding, and heaven help me I am trying, is how to let something go that I have no control over. It has been a terrible stress lately, probably taking years off my life, that I can feel regularly weighing on my heart. I know that this person whom I love and care about so much, though  they constantly express sadness, can take care of themselves and find their way out. But for some reason I feel it is my duty to reach in and pull them out of the trenches. Part of it is because this situation has indirectly swept me up in its mess, causing me to be the third party. As such, it weighs heavy on me too. Part of it is because I have a strong spiritual connection to this person, which is inexplicable at the very least, but I feel what they feel, similar to what twins experience (I think?). And part of it is simply because I care and I would feel this way for any other person in my life. It is hard to stand by and watch someone make questionable decisions which negatively affect their life and not be able to do anything about it.

I think one of my (our?) biggest struggles in life is relinquishing control of situations such as this and accepting that life will ultimately work itself out. My sadness and stress don't come from me not being able to make their decisions for them, but from me being unable to open their eyes and ears to what I so clearly hear them saying, but they do not take action on. And telling myself that this person is perfectly capable of making their own decisions and that they will be okay is challenging. And thus the lesson I am painfully learning: I cannot help those who cannot (or are not ready to) help themselves.

There is one thing I do know for certain, and it is this: I get by with a little help from my friends. (I wish this person would too).